It is my personal view that when it comes to matters of the heart and all things feeling there is a way that they can be expressed with dignity and without. Unfortunately, I find that the only way that I can reveal them while keeping myself grounded is to speak very little of them in the attempt to block it out. Why I find this unfortunate is because it is a situation that falls between the cracks of practical wisdom. There is no right or wrong and often honesty is the least wise choice; it becomes not what is good for you or the other based on rules but what is right based on the circumstances and the options. One could lash out, but just in contemplating it, the heat behind my fire cools still unsettled. Then is it to cry that would will me to normalcy sooner? Sadly ‘no’; in conscience disintegration my person senses a separation of self and a lowering of self. This train of thought is not precise, but to the experience accumulated in my life, it is the most practical piece of wisdom offered to my ego.
The results of this, as I have been recently experiencing, are not the best. My actions do not lower my worth in the physical, but it is the casual accepting of these mistakes which truly feels like punishment. At the same time, the lessons I have been learning and the wisdom I have been acquiring could not have come otherwise. In the black and the white we find shadow and light of the other to create the same therefore making a circular ‘one’ of the problem and the solution but there is no desire to remain within the circle when the problem continues at your back. So come our friend ‘time’, one who funds the investment of this ego trip, but to whom one wishes could contact to file for emotional bankruptcy and removal of the ying-yang in the situation. Therefore ‘distraction’, up to the day, I have not distinguished the kind of distraction to remedy. Stubbornness and recklessness were the culprits rather than ignorance and now that it has caught up to me, why prolong the obfuscation of knowing and not acting.
¶ There is a lot to go through ¶